Before you judge me on my wishes, know that I am basing my 3 wishes on my life as a stay at home dad, and not your life. As I rub the lamp and a magical genie appears, my 3 wishes come as natural as the cover off a baseball after Robert Redford laces into one.
Wish 1: I would like a magical robot to appear every time the dishwasher needs to be emptied and the clean dishes need to be put away. Because the robot is magical, the issues of reaching into higher shelves would not be an issue because he/she has go-go-gadget legs and arms. Emptying the dishwasher is an annoyance. I am not sure if I get more annoyed with having to empty it, or the fact that it has to be emptied every single day (if not twice a day, depending on timing and meals). I have not ruled out the option of going to Sam’s Club and buying boxes of plastic silverware, bags of Solo cups, and paper plates. We have a recycling bin…
Wish 2:My second wish is not one of incapability, as much as it is of avoiding the start of every day with repetitive frustration. I would like Nanny McPhee to show up in my girl’s room every morning at 6:30 when the alarm goes off. She would then proceed to drag my 5yr old out of bed and get her dressed while the 7yr old takes care of her own routine. My 5 year old likes sleep, which is great, until the alarm goes off every morning. Getting her out of bed and dressed every morning is similar to trying to teach a left handed pitcher in the major leagues to switch hands and start throwing right handed. While this is going on, my son is easily ready to go in the morning with a quick 2-minute process, which includes brushing teeth. While Nanny Mcphee is tending to the 5 year old, she could stomp her cane into the ground and start making lunch for the 7yr old, pack it into her bag, as well as pack her a snack. At this time, my wife would be able to get ready for work with little to no interruptions, and I would be able to make breakfast for the 3 children as well as prepare coffee and breakfast for my wife and I. I am not saying that these things can’t be accomplished, because they are 5 days a week, but since I have a wish to use, why not?
Wish 3: For my final wish, I would ask for a team of magical gnomes to appear every time I hear the dryer turn off. This is the time I realize that I have to put clothes away in the near future. Unfortunately for me, our kids are 7, 5, and 3, and therefore are not exactly at the age of being able to hang up all of their clothes and fold all of their laundry into the appropriate drawer. Every parent who has done the back end of laundry understands the annoyance of having to sort the laundry into family member’s piles and transporting that said pile into the corresponding bedroom. Once you decide to work on a certain bedroom, you then have to sort again depending on where the clothes belong. You have the drawer pile and the closet pile. Once picking a pile, you then have to fold and put them in the correct drawer, or get a hanger and put back into the closet according to how you or your spouse organized the clothes. Once finished with a bedroom, repeat process until all clothes are put away in all bedrooms and closets. Repeat this process daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly until children are old enough to do it themselves. At that point they can do their own laundry, and yours as well. Until that day comes for me, I will keep wishing for my magical gnomes to do the dirty (I mean clean) work for me.